We are looking to find a new flat, with two kiddies more than when we moved in three years ago, and a letter to say the rent is going up in 60 days, the count down has begun. With such a change a head, I find myself reflecting on the time I have had here.
The other day as I lay breastfeeding Blake to sleep in the afternoon, Luna was beside me in bed reading, or so I thought as I gazed out the open window at the silhouette of the plum tree against the cloudy sky. I looked over as I was about to extract myself from Blake when I realised she had also been staring out the window. Seems it’s a good view. I have spent so many hours in this room, with this view, mostly breastfeeding, singing to, or cuddling either Luna or Blake off to sleep here and if there is some light I enjoy looking out the window. The view is mostly of the sky behind the old plum tree and the pitasporum. In winter the skinny bare branches scratch at the sky, and in summer the leaves make a crisp rustling noise, which I think captured Luna’s attention. At this time of the year I can really feel the change as we move closer to Autumn, and I love it.
I will miss this view, and this has been an eventful home for us, I gave birth to both my babies here, and the profound experience of becoming a mother has been shaped to some extent by this house, making it easier for me to go with my instincts. For one thing, the ‘second bedroom’ is not so much a ‘bedroom’ as a small room off the garage with manky carpet and a mouldy wall, it was not perfect when we moved in but we figured we could work with it. We have, after all, lived in some odd places. Luna taught me that all those ideas about what babies are like, all the ‘what to expect’s are absurd myths that everyone pretends are true. For instance, the idea that you just put a baby to bed in a bassinet and they lay there and drift off to sleep all happy and content. Or that babies ‘genrally breastfeed between 2-4 hours’ at first, so then you think, ok I can live with that. Surely you just feed them, and then they’ll sleep/be happy/not need you long enough so you can shower, clean the house, organise a meal, right?
So we ended up just co-sleeping, having all the babies in with us, it’s lovely and a bit of a squeeze at times, especially when old Austin The Cat moves in on those cold old winter nights, or for afternoon naps. But we are all ready for a change and some more space to stretch out. I’m excited about what our next adventure will be and where it will take us, and the new things to learn as our children grow.
Early evening from our bedroom window.
